Posted in Uncategorized on September 11, 2013 by ripkoyo

What if Surfing had a Ryder Cup?

Surfing doesn’t top many charts and isn’t close to important in terms of money which I’m thinking of this because I am sitting here with a friend who is very strong minded like myself, and we both agree hands down that Surfing, with its world wide athlete base is lacking something. Surfers are one of the most unique groups of people on one of the most heterogeneous tours on earth. Men and women from oceans, beaches, countries, and upbringings all over the world compete for the same goal on different stages each event. These same people travel and develop life long friendships while chasing that common goal, no matter the almost snowflake-like paths they have taken to reach there. Ok wait that sounded pretty bro. More or less just Tarentino’d this story but with an adverse result. I digress.
My strong minded friend many of you may know or at least have read something strong minded of his, which you probably didn’t agree with. Jimmy Wilson. The difference is Jimmy is right a whole lot more than I, but both strong minded none the less, and nothing short of passionate about what we believe in. For lack of using derogatory terms. Back to the story. James Cane and myself were sitting around watching ESPN as Team USA just blanked Mexico 2-0, and with a little heyoooo from Honduras having secured their spot in the 2014 World Cup, a world stage, fighting for their country, against guys that on other pitches, under different circumstances may be “their boy”, “teammate”,  or the “so glad he’s on my team” guy that you suit up and do battle with throughout a season. The difference is, on this pitch, under these circumstances, “that guy”, is not “your boy.” Hell he’s not even “your friend.” He’s whatever country he represents on that garment, with those colors, for that flag, he’s “Them.”
In the name of sport people, that is it. The Olympics are obviously a prime example here, not modern day olympics, the old Olympics. Not way old Olympics, the Olympics that went down sometime between when it was 14 nations and 241 athletes in 1896 and the highly diluted 10500 competitors from 204 nations of 2012. Somewhere in there. Where I am going with this is you don’t need to be in the Olympics to win for your country. There are only a few sports that seem to understand that and one of them is about to dilute their side bet in the near future by attempting what surfing has hopefully already figured out. Some sports just don’t need an Olympic presence. By that I mean golf. Which has the aforementioned Ryder Cup.
ryder-cup1 Ryder Cup - Preview Day 2
The reason I keep returning to the Ryder Cup is because golf, like soccer, and surfing, heck even sailing, has its tours, leagues, or seasons where players from multiple countries compete on teams as teammates, or travel on tours competing for a prize. The competitors while from different countries and cultural backgrounds travel together, play together, practice together, train together, learn together, sometimes live together. But for that one period of time every 2 or 4 or however many years your side bet comes along those friends and teammates become the proverbial “Them.” And anyone who has ever competed for anything they truly want, whether it be a slice of pizza or a World Cup knows, beating “Them” for “Us” is the best sauce on earth. There is and always will be winners and losers. Look at the sales numbers, Nielson ratings, or any scale of GDP-like numbers anytime an event like the World Cup, Ryder Cup, America’s Cup, President’s Cup, or shit why not the Olympics is up on deck. People love their countries, I know I do, and people love winning, god knows I do, but the one thing that is clear as day…when it comes to losing something of that magnitude, it’s “Them” that goes home early to train for that next season with their “friends.” Not “Us.”
Surfing, you can call it The Ripko Cup, you’re welcome.



Union Jack

Posted in Funny Haha on September 27, 2012 by ripkoyo

Don’t call it a comeback it might be years before there is another. The way I see it why not open up with some non-hot garbage. There really has not been much to fire me up lately that I wanted to write about, but this years Ryder cup has got me juiced. Shit talking, Jersey style fist pumping, spectator heckling, high fives, low fives, audacity, good ole down home gettin after it.

Medinah, you’ll be gettin after it.

This year it is back on American soil in Shy-town, with the Americans having maybe, the best putting team on record…according to Paul Azinger, and that matters.

Paul gets after it.

Don’t sleep on Europe though they’re bringing the heat..Donald, Garcia, Mcdowell, Lawrie, Rose….some guy named McIlroy.

Looking like this you know the dude can play.

Those dudes can putt too. Good thing The Uncle Sam’s ain’t no slouch off the tee either; i.e. Bubba Watson, Dustin Johnson, Keegan Bradley…but then Europe’s got that dude McIIroy. A good silver lining to that grey Irish marine-layer hanging over the Americans radiantly green home turf is those other guys…Mickelson, Furyk, Kuchar, and some wrenchers that have been on the winning side of winning lately Simpson and Snedeker.

   The Summer Olympics I get into (for some reason the Winter ones are so much more Rad, right?) Please don’t read that last part wrong, I have my reasons, and never miss a chance to cheer it up for the Red, White, and Blue but it doesn’t do it for me like certain things. The World Cup, NASCAR, Super Bowl, 4th of July, America damn it….The Ryder Cup.


   This years Ryder Cup is going to rip and its worthy or WRIP whether this representation is or not. Things are looking up for the US already and balance has been restored. Ed Hochuli is back on the football field, Kelly Slater just won Trestles…again, flat brim hats are acceptable on the links…even with a Puma logo, and not to mention the new iPhone 5 is out. Most of all this has me fired up, enough to write soemthing, and that feels real good. Oh yea and maybe Stricker can lay down some Kimosabe knowledge on Woods and chase out a Tiger.

Thanks for the 60secs.


WRIP, Himself. Under Construction.

Posted in Funny Haha, Uncategorized on May 24, 2010 by ripkoyo

Phone will not take photos, computer shit the bed months ago, and still waiting on Zack Baked ZD Dobbelaar to fix it. Like I’m waiting on old age. Oh yea, and the fucking GoPro died. When it rains it pours, so to speak. Piss on old sayings and F Murphy’s Law, they’re both over-rated. 

End of rant.

I have a bullshit laundry list of excuses, but truth of the matter is I’m extra lazy when I’m busy and prohibitively motivated when I’m not. The harder I work the more I don’t want to do a thing that seems to veer from fun. In fact to reverberate the words of Hendog, “if I catch one wiff of suckyness I’m out of here..” Yea I know, more excuses, suck it up, and your right. I’ll be back on this bullshit blog like white on rice, or brown on rice if your oriental, it’s all good, nothing but love here, WRIP style. 

Thank you to everyone who reads this hot garbage, and especially you that call me out for not writing more. You really do check this shit and thats mind boggling to me. Ali Como you get a shout out here, and Jimmicane Wilson, who is pretty much a mentor and the originator of “Thats Bullshit“, which I need to stop bullshitting myself and get on some more writing. I have some bullshit to wordsmith my way through a’la Jimbones-esque, believe that.

Anyway long story short cause you and myself do not care, I am down, on technology. When I get back up to the times you will get a plethora of lovely hot air served up on silver keyboard and mousepad for your time murking pleasure. Until then, please don’t cry for me Argentina.


Strange Desire

Posted in Funny Haha on April 7, 2010 by ripkoyo


I would love a Fluffernutter sandwich right now. You know that delectable delicacy your Mom or Dad slopped together one time, then handed you the reigns knowing they had just taught the proverbial fisherman how to fish. It’s a win-win situation. No actual studies or facts have been collected here, but I know for certain to my Mom that was about 1/3 less meals she had to make. Moms gotta love that shit, and yea, I got no thank you either for relieving that percentage of the burden. Pfft. Anyway back to said treasures of childhood. If one person other than me reads this sticky garbage and goes and gets some Fluff, I win, and so does the economy. If I said Dane Reynolds eats them daily would you all rush out and get some tonight, cause he does. 

p.s. Hopefully you don’t see this but I don’t know if Dane likes Fluffernutter sandwiches. Never even met the guy, but he probably does.

“As good as it gets, back in the day.”

Posted in Funny Haha on March 28, 2010 by ripkoyo

Let me start off this next verbal escapade with another disclaimer: If your expecting something ground breaking or hilarious, your probably in the wrong corner of this amazing literary black-market. If your still reading you may actually be into the hot garbage I post on here and would like to say thank you and let you know your about to meet one amazing dude, for lack of better terms.

This is Richard Martin or “Richardmar” as we so endearingly know him, and his equally as impressive creator of the title slogan, better half, Fawzia. Meet and greet.

I hope to have a few moments with Richardmar before he poof’s off to Mexico and ex-Pat’s his days away fishing for better fish than we do, surfing better waves than we do, and all while having direct access to you guessed it…… better tacos than we do. What did you think was going to go there? So how does someone who resides in this comfortable lap of luxury let the good people traveling along A1A in historic sunny Matanzas know that he has an archeological digs worth of priceless nic-nacs waiting to be unearthed. The most boisterous uninformative way possible: plywood, spray paint, shitty old truck, and a less than descriptive sign that could only mean there is an unimaginable assemblage behind door #1.

It really only takes a few minutes of being at the Mar compound, with 20 years of delectable “Man vs. Life” mementos and keep sakes strewn about to realize the breadth of stories this living legend could wordsmith together. I mean the guy has done it all, charter boat captain, slang fine art, the occasional import/export commodity trading, a modern day James Jimmy Buffet Bond… 00-someparticularharbour-7. I was not there 2 minutes before I found my first beaut. It seemed everything you can find at the “yard” is, as Fawzia so used car saleswomen style put it, was “as good as it gets, back in the day. Right Richard.”

He are some of those legendary artifacts that to my knowledge are still as good as it gets, in this day. Especially for the heavy sales tag of “one dolla.”

Guaranteed your sitting there right now going, sweet just wasted 2 minutes reading this BS to look at some photos of junk that costs a buck, but that junk just found a new home and got two more minutes of fame from each of you so my job here is mostly done. I hope seeing some of these diamonds in the rough has sparked some interest in Richardmar, your really doing your stint here an injustice not having experienced a brief time period with this Tom Curren of life. Thanks again if your still reading this fresh hot garbage and I’ll leave you with this 22 seconds you can take with you.

BUSCH Beer, The Real Catalyst?

Posted in Funny Haha on March 24, 2010 by ripkoyo

There is no lack of knowledge that I am a BUSCH beer aficionado, huge fan, and after the recent change to my quiet Tuesday night at The Dunes Cracker House I feel I need to touch on a few things about this aforementioned BUSCH beer. In chemistry a catalyst is “a substance that increases the rate of a chemical reaction without itself suffering any permanent chemical change” sort of like BUSCH when you add it to a social gathering or the palm of your hand…..

In this case BUSCH holds true to its catalyst nature, but what happens when you add another element to the simple party equation, like tape or stickers…

Your seemingly mundane and over-rated bro down can turn into a beer guzzling, puke spewing, staff wielding, hell of a good time. Which can only make you wonder if the magical powers are in fact lone and true to the golden goodness that is BUSCH beer, or is the tape to credit for this debauchery that has become associated with the recent wizard staff craze?

While this may be one of the great questions of life, I do know one fact for certain. As long as there continues to be bruthrs like this in the world….

…going around offering free mustache rides while brandishing BUSCH cans whether they be “Light” or not , that there will always be people around to make priceless commercial spots like this.

Not to mention print ads that would make Pepaw slap Memaw, or vice-versa depending on who’s stirrin who out of the chutes.  So I guess BUSCH is not a catalyst, its simply a recipe for a good time, chemical reaction or not. Having said that, how many favorable reactions would you have missed out on without the helping, loving, refreshingly smooth hand of BUSCH or its “Light” compadre? So next time your local watering hole decides to make it’s slowest night a hit, suggest country music and $1 BUSCH cans. You may be on the fast track to a surprisingly abundant gathering of cut off jean skirt rockin, yew-haw yappin, G.R.I.T. goodness. Or shirtless on the side of a HWY at 3am, lost just outside your own neighborhood. Just ask the ole dickhead Crash.

Saturdays with Rippy

Posted in Funny Haha, Shredtastic on March 23, 2010 by ripkoyo

I never thought it would come to this, but I am a dreaded weekend warrior. Insert puns and shit talking here. Everyone wants to have the life of  say Zanzabar Morton,  Gab Kring, or any other laundry list of world traveling globe trotters with a Dane Reynolds man crush,  but the fact of the matter is we don’t and can’t. Please don’t take me the wrong way here, I by no means have a real job, I don’t wear a suit to work or even shoes sometimes for that matter, but I get bitched at and towards just like everyone else, which is fine, cause I realize that luxury. So before you go off thinking I’m some ungrateful wanker please understand, that I understand your dislike for me, but I don’t care. Weekend warrior or not I too love to travel, throw caution to the wind, and man crush it up on some Dane….just on weekends though.